Oh yeah...

This is him. Ewwwww, didn't I tell you. G R O S S !!!!!

And ES, average??? Really??? Uh, ok...if you say so. ;)

Idlewild

I will post pics later. We have a picnic to go to at my out-laws today. But, I wanted to say, that we had the BEST time yesterday. I'm so glad we actually have people that we ENJOY being around! NGM was thankful that, when he had to spend hours cooking, that he knew I had people to be with. I was thankful too! Kim and Wendi were a HOOT. (Sorry about my "pissy" time)
It was nice to be attacked by Princess later too. Riding the train with Benji was DEFIANTLY a high point. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that little man...like he was my own...just don't tell Alex.
I am SOOOOooooo looking forward to tomorrow with all of you again. I can't believe how NOT sick of you all, that I am. HAHAHA!
You all make my world SO much brighter!!! And funnier. And knockerier. ;)

bla

Not even two more days now. I'm crying at the drop of a hat. It takes nothing at all to create that place of sadness. I've got so many damned questions. None that can be answered. It's not something I really want to go through this week. I'd like to erase Wednesday from the calendar.

I'm in that state of mind, where everything is overwhelming. Nothing feels calm or easy. I don't have the strength to accomplish anything different right at the moment. Maybe soon. I feel like my boat is precariously tipping and I'm about to be submerged. I'm not sure it would be worth seeking the surface again.

I know I sound stupid.

It's just where I'm at right now. A bit confused. A lot lonely (mostly of my own making). Unable to change things. Easily scared.

I miss them both. Very much. I just don't know how to grieve right, I guess.

This is my sister. Not the best photo, I know. She'd had a stroke, so she had that look. She looked beautiful in her casket though. That sounds crazy, but it was true. She looked peaceful, and painless. She held a sign that said "Return to Sender". What a sense of humor. She knew. I didn't believe her.

The horses are still in their boxes. I can't bring myself to open them. I feel like maybe I can do it, then I chicken out. I wish I was stronger. I'm scared my blue dish will be in one of those boxes. I don't want it back. I was supposed to visit to get it.

This is just stupid. So stupid. I can still hear him telling me. I just kept saying "What?". It doesn't feel anymore real today than it did then.

Excuse my random thought process. It's pretty much how my brain is working right now.

5 on the NON list

Carrottop. He may have a nice body, but I just can't get past the personality and hair.



Gilbert Gottfried. Nuff said.



Don King. I have an issue with hair, don't I?



Bob Saget. I also have an issue with people who think they are funny but aren't.



There is a tie for 5th. That is between "Sloth" from The Goonies and "Rocky" from Mask. *shivers*

YIPPIE!

Today, Caleb will FINALLY take a class as a black belt. Awe, I'm just SO excited that he's coming back to TKD. He thinks it's pretty darn cool that he's going to be in the "Master's Club" AND he'll be getting a new uniform with his name on the back. I think he's going to start helping with Tigers. It's where his heart is. He is amazing with the little kids. If he doesn't grow up and become a teacher, I'll be shocked.

I'm proud of my boy. He's getting SO big.

Testing 8/20/08

choices

What is it about choices that bothers me so? Why can't I make decisions for myself? I hate deciding what's for dinner, let alone BIG things. I feel I've allowed myself to get to a place where I forget how to choose for me. I mean, I don't even understand what that means! I go to the hairdresser, and say "Do whatever you want". I say "Let's eat out...where do you want to go?" I hate decision making! Perhaps it's an extension of the "I hate to call anyone" thing. I dunno. What I'm sure of, is that I HATE making choices. I always feel I'm wrong. No matter what I choose. That I should have made a better decision. That I should have tried this or that. How do you make big choices in life when you can't decide what cereal to buy? Maybe it's just my personality. I need a seat on Jimmy's bus.

53 years ago today...

My mom and dad were married.

They met in Jr. High. My dad wore a leather jacket and stole people's lunch money. My mom was voted "Betty Crocker Future Homemaker of Tomorrow" and was an excellent student.

Dad saw her in the cafeteria as she worked at the candy counter. He told his friend, "I'm going to marry that girl."
He proceeded to purchase Ju Ju Bees from her and then throw them at her to get her attention.

They were married 5 years later.

When my dad was dying, he took his last breath with her by his side. She stood up and cried over him "PLEASE NOT YET!" He breathed again. When my sister went to take my mom home for the night, she whispered to my dad, "Daddy, I'm taking mom home now, you know she'll be back here by 8 in the morning. If you want to go, do it before then."

He died at 7:50. Suffering as long as he could, to ensure he lived as long as he could for her. Then, let himself go before she got there.

My sister Lisa was there. I was on the room phone with her. My sister Lynn was on a cell phone. My niece Noelle was on the Nurse's desk phone. It was all coincidence.

My mom and dad had one of "those" loves. They saw MANY tragedies, and MANY joys. They were an amazing couple.

when life surrounds me
and time goes faster
I feel in a stand still
an epic black hole

inescapable

insecure

spinning

inside the darkness
within this chasm
both peace and pain

Things I've learned.

In honor of my big 40 approaching, I decided to list some lessons I've learned.

1) Sisters are forever...like it or not.
2) There will never be enough ice cream when PMS is involved.
3) Mental health is more important than physical health. I mean, think about it, no one kills anyone because they have scabies.
4) I become attached quickly to some people. NOT most.
5) I will always be proud of my country and the people brave enough to serve it.
6) My sons are my heart.
7) Tragedy doesn't come in threes. It comes in dump trucks.
8) I am too blunt for most people but I don't really care.
9) When I grow up, I want to stop menstruating.
10) I don't care who you are, it sucks when you begin telling your children what DIDN'T exist when you were a kid.
11) People who didn't like giving up their 80's hair all moved to Texas.
12) Yinz is a word.
13) Once you use your boobs to get your man and breastfeed your children, they should reabsorb.
14) I don't care what the men think of #13.
15) Rice pudding has a voice. I've heard it calling me.
16) When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye and run like hell.
17) God loves me, but He has a funny way of showing it sometimes.
18) Kink is in the eye of the beholder.
19) Hair color should change like chameleon skin in accordance with your mood.
20) Indeed, some people CAN lick their elbow!

That is all...for now.

Michael Phelps's tats

Looks like an "M" for Michigan??? and the Olympic rings.

Rain Rain Go Away!!!

Tami, I can't help but wonder how you are tolerating this torrential rain we are getting. I'd call you, but you may be moving things from the basement. Oh, I hope not.

I'm thinking about you though...


{{{{{HUGS}}}}

An open letter

Dear PMS,

I hate you. I no longer need you. You make me feel like I'm about to sproing at any second. It's not a happy thing.

You give me pain. You bloat me. You make me crave baked goods and spicy food. You make me cry. You are stupid.

Truthfully, you've done your part in my life. Please consult my uterus and stop the madness. I am 40, for God's sake! Give it UP already!!!

With Deepest Disdain,

Leslie

My 5 women.

Ok, here goes.

1. Kat Von D



2. Keeley Hazell



3. Rachelle Leah




4. Natalie Portman



5. Shakira

My 5. Guys now...ladies later. ;)

Oh, this is difficult. Ok. Here we go.

#1 Rob Thomas.



#2 Wentworth Miller.



#3 Cub Swanson.



#4 Matthew Broderick.



#5 Matthew McConaughey.

Sigh....

Where have all the cowboys gone???

This is YUMMY!

Well, the final word. Yummy. I'm rather stuck on the subject of ice cream when it comes to things that make me drool. So, it had to be another trip to The Meadows. If you have not been there yet, let me explain the experience. First, it's custard, not ice cream. So, you lick FOREVER to finish the cone. It's thick and creamy and delicious beyond compare. Secondly, the medium cone is HUGE. No reason to go large at this place. Medium is almost too much to eat. Finally, every time you get a cone, you get one step closer to a FREE small cone! For every ten cone wrappers you collect, you get a free cone. It takes us only 2 visits to get a freebie! No one else does that. It's delicious! It's calcium! It's fattening! It's comfort!

Way to Go Caleb

My "way to go" post is for Caleb. I was proud of him for going into TKD tonight to practice demo team. He has loved being a part of the demo team and it was nice to have him go to a class. He was mad because I made him bring his uniform. Mrs. D said he didn't have to wear it. I was sorta bummed. He worked for YEARS getting that black belt and hasn't worn it since the night he earned it.

Maybe soon.

So, WAY TO GO CALEB! I love you to pieces and I am SO proud of your accomplishments.

(the pic is from Kennywood. He wouldn't wear his uniform today. hahaha)