Tuesday

Well, it's here. The support hearing is tomorrow at 1pm. I'm a ball of nerves. So much rides on this. I find out tomorrow if I have to move my boys from their home. I find out tomorrow how much money I need to make and if I can go to school full time or not. I find out tomorrow what my future looks like. It's all in the hands of someone else.

I'm so nervous.

So, I'm marking my places in time.

It's a technique I've created for myself to endure something that I'm afraid to do.

I take it and divide it into manageable chunks and mentally reward myself as I pass a new marker.

Example:

After dinner tonight
Laying in bed
Waking up in the AM
Kids off to school
Finish paperwork for hearing
Get bath, ready
Leave for hearing
Sitting in courthouse
Called for hearing
hearing over
home


These are my marks in time that I will specifically point out to myself as I pass them.

It makes dinner the next hurdle instead of the hearing.

Make sense?

Yeah, I know that I'm nuts.

This is just something I do for me.

Like writing.

I tend to have verbal diarrhea when I'm nervous...

but you cannot tell...right? ;)