Frustrated

With everything.

I'm tired of school but I am terrified to be done and attempt to get a job.
I'm tired of not having a social life and but terrified to date.
I'm tired of having no money but terrified to be responsible for it all myself.

I'm tired of not mattering
I'm tired of being last
I'm tired of being taken for granted
I'm tired of feeling lost

I get this way now and again.

Right now, I'm extremely this way.

More than anything, I'd like to hide away...but I also know no one would bother trying to find me.

How's that for feeling alone?

I guess I'd like to matter more...but no one can make someone else choose that. It's out of my hands. Not that I actually want to control how others feel about me. I just want them to want to love me for real. I never thought that was too much to ask but I think I was wrong.