letting go

I need to let go.

Let go of so many ideas and notions and hopes and dreams and thoughts and wants.

Needs are the only things I can focus on right now.

I'm coming to a point, where I am bypassing my "life" for what will make the lives of my sons better in the long run.

Maybe that's wrong.

I don't feel I have any other choice.

I think if people get divorced, and there is a true mutual respect and love for the kids, the parents work together, and the children AND the parents can thrive.

When one decides to be selfish, it throws off everything and the other parent pays the price of full responsibility and full care of the kids.

In providing the best care possible, that other parent loses options, and choices, friends, and relationships.

Make no mistake, I DO NOT regret where I am.

I have my sons.

I am beyond proud of them.

I will do anything to help them through this life with happy results.

In doing so, I do however, sacrifice my rights as a person, for my rights as a parent.

I guess I'm not complaining about that. It's more of an observation.

Parenting was meant to be a partnership or it would not require two people to create a baby.

Sometimes, life changes and parents are no longer together...but that partnership should still be intact for the sake of the children...and I believe it can be. But this can only be, when BOTH parents put the needs of their children first. Sadly, most broken marriages result in parents pitted against each other.

When one parent leaves, the relationship between them is no longer the issue!!! The focus is now on the children ALONE!

Why is it so hard for ADULTS to care about these innocent victims more than about the money or the house or the damn dog?

People often tell me that they don't understand how I don't hate my ex. They don't understand why I WANT him to have a good relationship with his sons. They think I'm weak because I will not engage in an argument with his girlfriend, or because I talk with him when he's down.

What kind of cruel parent would I have to be, to WANT to hate him? To WANT to have to send MY sons to a place they weren't happy and comfortable? Why on EARTH would I bash their father and try to put them in the middle of an ugly ending that had NOTHING to do with them????

What is wrong with people!?

Weakness is NOT choosing the high road...EVER! Weakness is taking that, already hurting, child and placing them dead-center into an adult relationship!

People are stupid. Seriously.

I think there are many who feel I'm stupid for not trying to "take him for all he's worth".

Know what he's worth? He's worth my sons.

I'm not taking anything I don't need or he won't have enough for what they need either.

Selfish

people are just plain selfish!