I keep dreaming of water. Water in swimming pools mostly. Problem is, the water is like sludge...muddy...icky...disgusting...brown.
I'm always going in to find someone/something/life...
It's like we're supposed to close down a pool and we have to make sure everyone and everything is out before moving on.
It's always night time. It's always a group of people around the edges. It's always like a vat of mud puddle.
I jump in without hesitation, like it's not bothersome. At the same time, I'm sickened at watching myself in that water.
I guess overall, I'm always jumping into new things that are overwhelming and scary, right now. I look, to the rest of the world, like I'm fine...swimming along without any issues or problems with my tasks. In reality, I'm watching myself from the outside, disconnected, afraid, sickened, worried. I'm tired of being in the muck. I need clean, clear, safe water.
I guess either way, I still have to swim.
2 comments:
Yeah, swim on. I'm dreaming of Michelle a lot lately. Not sad dreams, or scary ones. Just dreams of her the way she used to be. Dreams are weird. I'm always so thankful to wake up.
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